Different Struggles in the family setup

A Family Plea


The place where a substantial portion of our personality, character is defined and moulded from a young age.

Family is a key foundation to almost every operation we undertake in life. We can have supportive families or unsupportive families. There are so many complexities and underlying factors that make up what it means to be in a family and to have a family.

Now, every single human being is going through something difficult in life, whether it is a child, a mother or a father. And I believe that is why we should to be gentle with one another, or at least learn to extend grace to each other always.

That is why I have a problem with the word— Fine.

I actually dislike it. If anybody asks me how I am I would rather say I am good or great.

However, the problem is not the word per se , it is the misuse of the word. At times somebody can be really struggling with life situations but always say they are fine when asked. Most times, the word fine comes out naturally because having expressed feelings and sentiments previously, most people come out of those vulnerable places feeling, not understood or even misunderstood; thus, they adapt to say: all is fine.

I was actually wondering which approach to use while writing this when I got a rough idea of what it is I particularly wanted to put across and said to myself—

It is not possible to heal all families and the whole of humanity even if I wanted to. But I can start with the ones I am presently blessed to be surrounded by. I can start at home through my God-given gifts.”

My plea to people who have been and raised in loving homes: go easy on those who have had a hard upbringing in broken families. Use discernment and be sensitive towards people. Most times one may not understand why what might come easy to you, may possibly be hard for another person. For example virtues like forgiveness, understanding, patience and letting go. People raised in broken families have deep-rooted trust issues, many fears and they exhibit traits of defensiveness and/or could have worse traits. Therefore, our blessed ones, please be gentle, be firm too and pray for each other.

Those who have been raised in broken families on the other hand, need to also go easy on those who are trying to walk with them. I believe not all people are out to cause pain and more hurt as you may have possibly experienced in the past. I believe that God sends even just one, He cannot lack just one person to hold your hand.

It is not an easy thing to come to the cognition that you could be broken. Because the narrative in the streets these days is that, in the society we live in today, everybody is strong!

Well, that is a flat out lie, people have so much going on and it takes faith, courage and true strength to recognize we all need help and healing.

Therefore, our loved ones, relax, disengage, be kind, be honest, praying for each other.

Families: let us not bleed on each another. This is my plea. Every single person has a burden of their own, at times we think “my cross is heavier than yours, you don’t know how much I have gone through in life.”

Well, that could be so… But what has happened in the past, should not be used as a weapon to destroy the present, but should help us understand our individual journeys and what we would like to do differently so as to create a better future for our future families and surrounding environment.

The goal ultimately is to heal oneself and heal one another.


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