This July I am trusting God for many things (hits face emoji) what am I saying!? I am always trusting God for all things. I have come to learn that I cannot do without Him even for a second.
So the Holy Spirit and I are working on attitude and vulnerability. In case you joined the bandwagon of my blog recently, I am introverted.
Yes, I freak out around people who talk to much because I am always wondering what I should tell them, thinking of how I could sneak out from a crowd of people and find a quiet place I can read a book in silence, write on my journal, observe the stars, watch something inspiring, talk to God, roll on the grass… anything but small talk (cringe face emoji). In short just be by myself enjoying my weirdness.
Yesterday, I was reading the story of Moses, I got to a certain verse (quoted below) and I was yelling in my head OMG! This is so me!
I relate with Moses’ story because of his background and his struggle with eloquence. Imagine, being raised in a palace and having people of nobility mould part of who you are, then God calls you to turn against them, turn your heart from them, against their culture and their ways. I think that must have been one of the most trying tasks for Moses. On one side stands the people with whom you have shared a roof, meals, and even education and on the other, you have your ancestors, your people, your flesh and blood.
He was so afraid of what God called Him to do.
And like Moses I too, struggle with articulation of words. We get along perfectly with words….. on paper.
Then here, you have God saying, “you are the one that I choose.” That’s why in my previous post I told you, I question Him at times, but my questions always end with trust and affirmation because only He can do it.
Moses said to the LORD, “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
11 The LORD said to him, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD?
12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
Right here above, these are His exact words and I have to keep reminding myself that God is not man that He should lie. He said He will work on my weaknesses, struggles, strongholds, character together with the help of the Holy Spirit, therefore, mine is to be obedient and trust He will take care of the transformation process.
In the meantime, I love who I am, I enjoy my company, I love the freedom that Jesus has granted me, it’s refreshing to be who I am in Christ. I love that I am quiet, I love that He has chosen me inspite of the fact that I am awkward and honestly strange. I am a new creation. It is something wonderful, I am awed at the work He has done already and I know that if He can do it for me, certainly, He can do it for you too.