Letters to God
Where do I begin? A gift that God deposited in me as far back as when I was five. I remember owning a secret coded journal I wrote on and not allowing my cousins to read. It had this disclaimer reading private!! You know, for those who have watched Harriet the spy and relate…
Yap! That was me alright.
Growing up, I enjoyed writing letters to my friends and family but life taught me nobody really paid attention to my words and so I abandoned writing entirely.
It was not until later when I was given a journal by my mum as I turned 20 (if I am not wrong). I remember scribbling some things which I have until now.
At some point, I started writing letters to God and if I am honest, I have no idea why. I never had a relationship with Him, my prayer life was active only during a time of crisis, I was okay being in sin because I had convinced myself—“nobody ever died from sin, I mean people seemed to be okay.” But for some reason, I still wrote letters to God. There was a seed deep down in my heart that was looking for light and water to germinate but I was constantly stepping on it.
Reading these letters today, confirms to me that my heart never belonged to me right from the beginning, but to Jesus. That is why He chased down my heart so fiercely and graciously at every wrong turn I took and in every step of my life. And when I got deeper into the darkness, He pulled me out and as I wrote in one of those letters —shocked me back to life.
I wrote words with no idea what exactly I was speaking of and if the person I wrote to actually existed. I don’t know what you would call that— but that for me is just extraordinary. For many, it would seem as though my spiritual journey began when I started blogging actively, but in hindsight this journey began from my mother’s womb. God called me while in her womb and chose me for a purpose so big that even in a lifestyle of strife, pride and arrogance I was still drawn to Jesus. And with time, I have now come to connect so many occurrences that have occurred in the past to my future presently.
The reason why I share this is because there is not a day I do not look at my words and feel awed and humbled.
God used my words to bring me healing. This to me is profound.
And maybe why most of us wouldn’t understand this profound mystery is because we fail to trust God. Because for this to happen, our spirit, our minds, our souls need to be nourished continuously in faith by the word of God.
At times we call upon God and when we do not get the response we desired, we conclude He did not hear us. God hears all our prayers, our needs, our cries. He does. These letters are proof that even though I wrote them without understanding and expectation, He honoured them. (PS… Do not mind my grammar…it was wanting but who cares, lol, God did not🙂
Ultimately, I ended up writing for Him! Would you believe that? God is always listening. I believe however, He answers our prayers according to His will for us and in His perfect time.
Thank you for reading my letters. Let us do this! Raise a nation of believers! Use me Lord. 🙂