On the Monday, 9th, December 2019, I woke up no longer feeling blessed but knowing that I am blessed. Understanding day by day that “all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” Rom 8:28
I am actually asking myself, “am I courageous enough to write this post?” I don’t know, but nonetheless I will keep going till words find me and I, them. I was shying away from writing deep from my heart this past month because I never want to be a fraud that is, (writing things that are not truly from the heart).
Yesterday morning, I woke up and I had this verse ringing in my head for the better part of the day; though I could not remember exactly where to find it, I googled some of the words and I found the verse.
“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. “ Hebrews 12:1-2
I remember the first time I purposefully decided to write on this blog consistently, I honestly never thought that I would be able to manage writing almost weekly and be constant doing it. I also never thought I would be deeply healed by my own words. I don’t know if you remember this post.
This was the first time God confirmed to me that He wanted to use my words to heal the world. I remember feeling as though I would combust with joy, knowing that His presence was with me and that He had a purpose for my life.
Through my spiritual journey, I have made so many mistakes trying to figure out how He intends to use me for His plan but I thank God for all of them because He has covered me with His grace and embrace in each one. He has taught me so many things and even now, keeps teaching, moulding and directing me.
One of the things that I have battled with is confessing Jesus before men and not feeling as though I should feel ashamed of Him. If I am honest, deep down, a tinge of awkwardness sprouts and makes me retreat from talking about the love of Jesus in just any normal conversation with people around me.
But how can something so wonderful, so filling, so precious, so life giving be so far away from men’s hearts? It is too precious for me to fail to share it with the world. I am unable keep it inside of me because it is no longer about me anymore.
It is about billions of people who are suffering in the world and have lost hope; people who need to hear there is a God who restores health without medicine, raises the dead, calms the storms, sends legions of angels to guard and protect them, gives rest to those who are weary; a God who has a purpose for everyone and everything, and more than this, offers salvation to those who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ.
It is about people who have stayed under the slavery of religious oppression and piety. Not having experienced the presence of God or having the passion for living a purposeful life.
It is about people who have been hurt by life, by parents, by children, by sickness and death, by friends and also those who are carrying offences against God.
And thus, this brings me to the point of being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus.
Paul legit is my hero. He made me understand that it was possible to be ashamed of the gospel of Jesus, but then again it was necessary that we remember that because of this gospel, lives are saved and destinies are changed.
Romans 1:16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.
This journey has taught me obedience.
It has taught me that not dealing with strife sprouts roots of bitterness which is one of the vices that hinder us from hearing from God.
It has taught me about letting go. Letting go of pain, hurt, resentment, anger, expectations and also letting go of people I love as well. It has taught me that trusting God is not a one day affair but a daily commitment; to wake up and put on His word even when it doesn’t make sense to the world.
It has birthed a woman who never knew what she was capable of achieving until she foolishly began believing in His word, even when it didn’t make sense (I always call it Noah’s ark kind of bold faith—foolish, childish faith)
This journey has healed me.
It has taught me that God’s love and nature is overwhelmingly profound, so loving, that I cry whenever I start meditating on what it has done in my life.
But it has not come to me like magic. I had to get to such a low point in my life, that I turned to buddhism to find if I could find peace and ease the hurt and pain. But in my practice, God led me to the cross; the truth and light that Jesus offers.
This journey, is not the end, it is just the beginning. A post to rest under a palm tree to reflect on how far I have come and how faithful the one who has carried me has been. I always say, He left the 99 to find me.
The journey is filled with endurance and willingness to surrender; to let God see me as I am and not as I would like to pretend. To bring all the broken pieces with my whole heart because I have learnt that He cannot heal what I keep thinking I can fix on my own.
This journey has led me to discovering new wings to fly; to claim God’s promises for my life, and walk in purpose. It is a path of falling and getting up again because even Jesus never stayed down when they beat Him.
He fell severally but still got up and finished His race.
A race that permits and empowers me to be here writing this at this moment.
This journey is about learning, making mistakes and having the Holy Spirit right here leading and guiding me; reminding me that I do not need to be perfect. All I need is just a will and a desire to follow the path He has set before me.
We all have battles we are facing in life, I believe that every single person on earth faces challenge and difficulties at one point or another. The only difference is, how each person deals with them and learns to overcome; learning to let go of the burdens that weighs them down.
We must never allow our minds to condemn us into believing the lies of the devil.
We have received life im abundance in Christ Jesus. I love how Revelation 5:10 puts it…
It would be tragic to live our lives with a defeated mindset all the while, Somebody precious has already redeemed and purchased us by His blood.
Remembering that healing is not a one day thing, it is a daily dose therapy and it always starts with renewing of the mind.