The Spirit of Confusion

Have you ever felt confused about some things?
Wait many things? Yes? No?

So we decided that this space will be a space of honesty and vulnerability.
I have been standing firm against the spirit of confusion in my life and making efforts to make firm choices even if the choices I make, make me uncomfortable.

I am calling it the “being in my choices” Why? Because even if I do not make the right choices. God will somehow make it all work out for my good.

All things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.“— Romans 8:28

Quoting this verse does not mean to justify my wrong choices, but to illuminate how God works through our wrong choices.

Vulnerability sidebar
I haven’t listened to a lot of secular music or watched secular programs for a long while now. I listen occasionally but not as much as I did before.

There is this song that I heard recently (which I really liked) by the late Whitney Houston and Kygo called Higher Love. It has been on replay ever since I heard it… I love the lyrics.
Especially the part of the lyrics that goes…

Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is wasted time
Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine

So yesterday while listening the song, I was so overcome by excitement. I decided to share the screen shot on my WhatsApp.
Now, afterward is when I realized, “wait…. Something doesn’t feel right. I don’t like that I have shared that.”

Probably some of you would be wondering, “really? Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme?”

But seriously. Yes.

The song is great, but something inside of me was totally disagreeing with the video and some parts of the lyrics.

I decided well, I should delete it. Then, I remembered we are doing this thing with the Holy Spirit where we are staying in our choices, we are not running away from the discomfort. We are facing the consequences.

I decided I will let my WhatsApp status be, because I made that choice and in as much as I was burning to delete the it; God used that situation to make me reflect, which, subsequently led me to writing this post.

Now, I’m not saying that God is a God of confusion…No!! He is not. He is an orderly God. But I am learning that the only way to learn not to act on emotions, is to sit in my choices; being in the discomfort. Because truly, that’s how I will grow and learn not to make the same mistakes again. 

Additionally, not trying to hide things under the rug or pretend that they did not happen. That is not how we receive healing. We receive healing over such kinds of distresses when we illuminate, accept, and resolve to always rethink our actions.

I have transformed mine into a whole piece and I am feeling peaceful already as I write this.

Another lesson too is, I am sharing what God places in my heart whenever I write on this platform or speak to people in general. I need to recognize that in as much as I enjoy some of my music, foods and leisures, there are people who are learning about God and could be in different stages of growth, thus creating a stumbling block in their individual walk with Him.

Therefore, it is okay to enjoy my stuff in my own space and enjoy life while keeping a watchful eye on compromising my faith and without making other people question or make conclusions like— “Oooh if she can watch or say that and she’s a Christian, I guess that’s okay.”

This verse really helps me out with this point.

I can tell you for a fact, God has been very disciplined and unrelenting with me in terms of what I allow in my spirit. Things that I used to enjoy watching are no longer of much interest; some of my die hard movies and series like supernatural, the outer limits… etc.

To be honest I do experience nostalgia over the old me at times, but whenever I remember the peace, love, grace and the embrace of Jesus, I cannot imagine trading that knowledge and experience for anything else.



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