Sneaky Little #&@*#!&
Sneaky little wicked thing it is, I wouldn’t even want to give it a possessive pronoun because I cannot imagine allowing it to own me even for a second.
I will admit I have been caught by it’s nets severally and it’s such a sneaky trait that I actually recognize its effects afterwards when I feel this unsettledness in my spirit.
I have to admit with time, I have become better by the leading of the Holy Spirit (insert several dancing emojis).
In the beginning, I made a lot of mess with this spiritual journey because of this self-righteousness devil! Goodness! Nasty, sneaky little trait!
The thing is —(and not justifying my actions) — when you have been in the dark for a long time, when you lie in bed at night; inhale and exhale fear, wake up in the afternoons (lol notice, the stress of afternoons and not morning), and inhale fear again; live in anxiety and worry every single moment, and not because you want to, but because in as much as you try – by your own strength – to think positively and act like the person you see yourself as deep inside: there is still that emptiness, sadness, bleakness, hopelessness, heartbreak, dissapointment within.
Hurt and fear is all you have experienced in life.
It is remarkably life changing when light finds you in the midst of all that chaos.
And when you receive this light, there will be a tendency to think that you made it all come to you by either something you did. Sort of like— “I gave myself strength, I pulled myself out of it.”
If we are truly honest, we have found ourselves in such a situations, where we think we are better than others; in fact, when we see somebody doing something we would normally recognize /mark as sin we automatically think — “thank God, I wouldn’t do anything like that, like can you believe they did that? Or said that?”
Hahah yes—you see why I call it sneaky, because it’s the first unconscious thought that pops into our heads.
Self-righeousness is one of those things God has had to deal with me overtime and I am glad that He keeps reminding me through His grace: “I give you grace, so you give to others grace.”
We are not all experiencing the same things, we walk in our journey’s in our own different ways, and with the our own faith — not in comparison with that of another; by being encouraged to build our faith day by day.
In fact, faith is just faith, there is no such thing as small faith or big faith! Some are wondering, but Jesus taught and said: ” if you have faith as small as a mustard seed” —yes He did, but it was a form of expression to show those who felt as though they needed some type of big faith to move mountains. Therefore, who cares if you have faith as big as a mountain or as small as a mustard seed? Isn’t love the ultimate goal?
It is love that makes us light, not the amount of faith we have, not how faithful and prayerful we are, not how educated or knowledgeable we are, not how wise we are! It is love that makes us light because even the salvation we have received is out of love, in that: for God so loved the world, that He gave His only son as a ransom for many.
I cannot tell people to set aside their ‘sinful behaviors’ because let’s be real! Most people don’t like being pointed at, including me! But I can encourage us to make every effort to set aside those crowns we have placed on our hearts and seek God as He is.
It’s a bruise to your ego when you realize that the reason why you are able to fellowship the Holy Spirit and declare God’s goodness is not your doing—eeeeeeeeeh! (show of hands anybody? 🙋) But it is because God loves us, because He chooses us, we don’t not choose Him. He chooses us.
I don’t understand many things, I do not pretend to know God’s ways, There are days, I boast about knowing Him —I admit it and I am wrong. Yes I am.
However what I do boast proudly of, is what the cross has done for me; that His love was poured out for me even to the point of death to a cross that I may be saved. That is not my doing! But the Lord whose ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts; who uses all people for His purposes. Heck! what do I know? I am just a student; I am just watching how Jesus lived and what He did; imitating His way of life and striving to be transformed more and more into His likeness.
Therefore, let us put aside our worldly ways and chest beating about who knows what and who is better than who and simply love one another.
May the Lord who loves us, cares for us, listens to us, chastises us, teaches us, moulds us, walks with us in all situations, be praised in all ways, in all things and by all means. May He keep doing this good work in us that we may bear fruit for His namesake.
In JESUS name