This looks like one of those posts that l will read a year later and wonder, “yikes, what in the name of pumpkin puddings was I thinking blogging about that?” But all the same, this is why I have the spiritual journey category under my blog categories…for such kind of posts.
Anyway, it is Christmas Eve and reasonably, I was expecting to be experiencing that joy that I found out that I could find for myself in 2019. However, today morning, I honestly did not have that ho ho ho kind of feeling.
The truth is that, I had planned on spending this Christmas with my mum together with some of my siblings this year. But unfortunately, due to unavoidable circumstances that will not be happening. As it happened, I woke up this morning just irritable and not in the mood for anything really. Then my mum called me and we had a lengthy conversation over the phone. She ended up cheering me up which was a true blessing.
Her encouragement got me to my feet. And just as she encouraged me, I hope that somebody else also gets encouraged by those words of wisdom that she left impressed upon my heart. She told me: that the whole world was preparing to commemorate, receive and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, and it would be such a killjoy for Him to be born in my heart momentarily as it was downcast and lowly. That hit straight to the heart.
She also assured me that God could be trusted no matter what kind of situations we experience everyday or how unfair some situations may seem— that there was absolutely nothing He was not in control of.
Meditating about it now… Can you imagine if the angels appeared to the shepherds in the field; radiating all that joy, heavenly splendor, glorious singing, possibly even having tambourines, harps, and all indescribable kinds of melodies and songs to announce the birth of a king, only to be met and received in a casual, bored, uninterested and detached way?
And truth be said, that is how most Israelites received their Lord, and that is also how I almost received Him myself, if God, through my mum had not intervened.
Interestingly too, I normally share my blog posts on twitter and today I was sharing the post: Love the better way. As I read it, I was really convicted because at that moment, I was not walking in God’s love but in my own feelings which is not at all God’s desire.
Jesus is the Lord of my life.
And when I received and accepted Him as Lord and Savior, it signified not only my salvation, but death as well. I had to die daily to anger, to pride, to always wanting things to go my way, to selfishness, to hatred, to self. It signified death every single day. And oh, what a difficult thing it is some times; but I rejoice, because He is faithful, good, just, forgiving and thankfully not done with me yet.
Later on, having done all my laundry and feeling like the cleanest girl on earth, I cleansed my heart as well, so that Jesus could find room to be born. I cleansed it by receiving His forgiveness and resting on His promises– that He is always on the throne, and that He has good and perfect plans for my life —
This night, I plan on keeping vigil, watching the movie, David. (I have been waiting for its upload since I saw the trailer, and it is now on YouTube.) And possibly too, listening to some Christmas carols till I fall asleep.
That’s it for now from me.
Wishing you an amazing Christmas day, and praying for you all…as you prepare your hearts with joy and gladness to receive our Savior King. May He find room in your hearts to live, to rest, and to move things around as He so desires.