It is not the load that breaks you down it is the way you carry it. ~ C.S. Lewis
I saw this quote while scrolling through my Pinterest home page yesterday. (To be noted: Pinterest and YouTube are the only two apps I permit myself to spend more than five minutes).
Anyway, I would be lying by saying that as soon as I read it, I had this clarity all of a sudden over some of the issues I have been wrestling and dealing with for the past two weeks.
It’s been some two weeks since I last wrote on my blog… In those two weeks, life has happened as it normally does… routines, good news, bad news, good days, bad days, contracting a bad, bad flu…
Though, I have been leaning introspectively more on the bad days and news than the good days and good news, and stubbornly refusing to move to God’s general outlook on life which is: rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God for your lives in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Most days it is hard; some other days, it is extremely hard.
And in those some other days, running from the mess and murk of life seems like the best move to make. (I feel like I have written this statement again on this blog here somewhere). But it’s the truth.
And before I proceed with my heart catharsis, this would be a good time to let you know the diagnosis to my problem: confusion.
And I do not mean this in an egoistic kind of way. Any kind of confusion to my life’s operations as well as confusion emanating from other people consequently affecting my life has the ability to reset me back to zero emotionally, spiritually, physically and psychologically.
My default response to such is always to get away from it all; which may also mean abandoning some important work.
But God has been helping me sit through the confusion and to pray while at it. And all that I can say about that is that: it is hard.
I know that God is able to give us grace to weather through the hard times, but before I get to praying for grace, patience, love, and understanding others (sincerely), I go through a period of venting and let’s call it: emotional expression to God.
Instead of running for the heels or to my comfort zone as I did in the past, I go to God with the discomfort and vent; which is almost always a dramatic vent because I am normally so downcast, drained, and my emotions are usually everywhere (not a good time to be married lol!).
I am usually like: “God they are over the top, and I cannot staaaaaannnnd the mess and the craziness of this, and that, and the other! It’s just too much madness! I cannot take it anymore! I’m done dealing with these issues….”
Anyway, the end of the matter however, I can honestly say is: breakthrough. God gets me to the other side feeling lighter and unburdened —and sometimes it takes a bit of time (this time being the past two weeks for this case).
This genuine understanding and peace of mind is not some self-induced calmness and composure brought about by yoga, meditation, or deep breathing in…
It’s an indescribable peace that is brought about by the Holy Spirit. How? I cannot explain. But I receive rest and the assurance that God is still in control.
It’s a soothing calm to my heart which also succeeds to bring out a genuine repentance for my rants and tantrums however justified they maybe.
Though it’s a painful blow to be reminded: I am not perfect either. But that is what carrying our own crosses is all about: dying to self and letting God burn off the pride, the selfishness and the other stuff we have in our hearts that have us walking deceived about ourselves everyday.
So… Yes! That has been my past two weeks in a nutshell!
And I hope you have had a better one yourselves or better yet, one where the perspective that God loves us despite all the stuff of life which happens to us daily— still holds fort.
I hope and pray that you have days and weeks, all the time, where you still hang on to Jesus no matter what!
Okay… Let’s just be honest, whenever most people hear anything about religion, their first reaction and instinct is probably to cringe or brush off the whole matter entirely.
Why? Most likely because it is a subject that is associated with extreme cases of fanaticism, it brings about a lot of conflicts and controversies, and even offends easily.
Religion is famously known for: manipulation, stagnation, repression, ignorance, bigotry and is too often a threat to liberty. And rightly so. I do agree. With that said, I recommend you to read two of my posts as well as encourage you to do a personal, extensive, and honest research on your own regarding this matter. Why?
As intellectuals (critical thinkers), I believe we owe it to ourselves to interrogate, examine, and ask hard questions regarding matters touching on faith rather than choosing to ignore them or even worse— follow blind faith. Click here for the first post.
Who speaks the truth with regards to a genuine, sincere and true relationship with God? Is it Buddha? Muhammad? Jesus? Zoroaster? Confucius? Joseph Smith? Guru Nanak? Krishna? Among others? Find out on this second post:
My heart overflows with a goodly matter; I speak the things which I have made touching the king: My tongue is the pen of a ready writer. Psalms 45:1
Thank you for reading this blog. Feel free to share it with others whenever and wherever.🙂