I like to get things done fast. I do not know what slowing down is all about. I walk fast, think fast, eat fast, write fast, read fast. Whatever it is that needs to be done, must be done swiftly; there is no time for slacking around. Raised by a dad who was adept to moving fast, I caught that disposition just as well. Yet, even in that fast-paced way of life, excellence and efficiency still remain essential to me.

This past week however, the Holy Spirit has pointed out to me this fast pace – especially with writing this blog – in an effort to get me to decelerate. His highlighting it also, is not something new He is doing. Several times in the past He has tried to get me to slow down and even tried to work on my pace but to little avail. It has been a losing battle on His end, and an even greater loss on mine.

Why do I say this? Because if I had been paying careful attention to His voice and prompts in the first place, I probably wouldn’t be here writing this right now.

For better insight, I would like to break down to my reader what exactly I mean by this –

Whenever I get a faint idea of something God places in my heart for me to write or to do, I bolt out the door and go about doing the thing. How I register it in my mind is, there’s no time to waste at all.

Case in point: The Holy Spirit impresses upon my heart to write about a certain issue or subject He has been speaking to me about: let’s say: “without me you can do nothing.”

Before He says anything else, I am out of the door, and quarter-way into writing the draft. At this point His voice now faint in the background saying to me…”hey wait, this is what I want you to write/this is what I want you to do.” And I respond back with the classic, “I know Lord, I know… I know what to say, I know the words, or, I know what to do Lord, I know the way to go…”

Re-examining the whole matter now, I cannot believe how long I have allowed this matter to persist.

To get me to slow down, God has had to result to some – let me call them – extreme measures. He has used the one thing I would liken to a plague (if I were to link it to my pace): delay.

Delay is that one thing fast people do not like imagining happening to them since irritability and impatience more often than not, follow as a consequence. Thus, delay becomes like the dread of night to the fast-paced person.

God has brought my life to a halt. Everything in my life is delayed…and I literally mean everything. (I need not get into the details.)

However, like Mary and her sister Martha on the illness of their brother Lazarus, I have not been silent about it; I have sought the Lord. I have traveled all the way to Bethany (so to speak) to seek His help over this issue. The desperate need to get my life moving again has taken me all the way to Bethany. And I can tell you for a fact that I have thrown myself at His feet like a lunatic; throwing hysterical tantrums due to this discomfort of delay.

But the Lord has only tarried the more in Bethany. And as for Lazarus (delay), he has succumbed. He has been as dead as a dodo in the grave for many months so much so that I have come to make peace with the whole situation now.

In hindsight, God – in His love – has allowed delay to be my portion for a good, good reason. Now I can emphasize – in His love – because I was previously not seeing it as so.

The Holy Spirit has had to do some deep and tremendous work in my spirit to get me to yield to God’s ways.

As it stands however – being tension-free regarding all the delays – I would be lying to you if I told you that I have not been frustrated and even felt injured by God over them. I have questioned, “Lord, am I not the apple of Your eye? Am I not Your dearly beloved? Then what of this? I do not know what to make of these delays… Time is moving so fast and I feel as though I am behind in so many areas and even aspects of life …Why has a huge chunk of my life halted? Where are You?”

But God is faithful. Even in the delay, He has remained faithful.

He has revealed so much to me and has deposited immeasurably more to my heart by using the delays – things I would otherwise not have been able to see or even think of.

God has used the passing of time to strip me of anxieties, worries, fears and terrors of the future, desperations, selfish desires, that I know Lord response including so many other things… it is amazing. Not only that, I have also learnt that things are not out of His hands, but that He is in control of every single aspect of life on this earth – even my life.

Thus, like Dr. Edman, I have learnt to rest as he rested when he said, “first, He brought me here. It is by His will I am in this strait place: in that fact I will rest. Next, He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace as His child. Then, He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He needs to bestow. Last, in His good time He can bring me out again, how and when, only He knows. In summary, I am here, first by God’s appointment; second, in His keeping; third, under His training, and fourth, for His time.”

Granted, it doesn’t mean as well that I am A-okay and now good-to-go with life…or even that I am presently moving at a slower or normal pace. It only means that like Michelangelo said, “I am still learning.” And also, that I am now in a more mature place spiritually than I was last year, or even the year before.

What is more, I have recognized as well, that in my haste, I have a problem of leaving God behind; which thing I have resolved to submit to Him to work on. And I trust that He will straighten out this speed issue in His own gentle way.

And when all is said and done, I know by faith that I shall see Lazarus again – risen from the dead – not in the after-life, but in this life.

Equally, I can tell that I am in for a much deeper experience in Him just by that purposing to slow down and wait on Him to work on His beautiful masterpiece that is – my life.

As I conclude, if perhaps you find yourself going through a similar experience and can relate with the situation. I can only encourage you to just be patient as you wait on God, pray, LISTEN to God, and learn as much as you can from the God and from the season itself.

Thank you for reading and journeying with me through my spiritual journey.

Until Friday God willing!

♣

Okay… Let’s just be honest, whenever most people hear anything about religion, their first reaction and instinct is probably to cringe or brush off the whole matter entirely.

Why? Most likely because it is a subject that is associated with extreme cases of fanaticism, it brings about a lot of conflicts and controversies, and even offends easily.

Religion is famously known for: manipulation, stagnation, repression, ignorance, bigotry and is too often a threat to liberty. And rightly so. I do agree. With that said, I recommend you to read two of my posts as well as encourage you to do a personal, extensive, and honest research on your own regarding this matter. Why?

As intellectuals (critical thinkers), I believe we owe it to ourselves to interrogate, examine, and ask hard questions regarding matters touching on faith rather than choosing to ignore them or even worse— follow blind faith. Click here for the first post.

Who speaks the truth with regards to a genuine, sincere and true relationship with God? Is it Buddha? Muhammad? Jesus? Zoroaster? Confucius? Joseph Smith? Guru Nanak? Krishna? Among others? Find out on this second post:

My heart overflows with a goodly matter; I speak the things which I have made touching the king: My tongue is the pen of a ready writer. Psalms 45:1

Thank you for reading this blog. Feel free to share it with others whenever and wherever.🙂

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