I do not know how long this has been going on but it is safe to say: long enough.

Long enough to get me to a point of mental and spiritual exhaustion and an earnest outcry to God for a personal awakening of things pertaining to His kingdom.

I love the Lord; with all my heart I love Him. He is my whole life and I mean that in every sense of the word.

And my remarking this is not some sort of flaunt to my reader, to get a picture of how deeply spiritual I am.

Nothing of that sort.

What it is, is that despite my love for Jesus, I recognize that I have not been as excited about Him and His kingdom to come for some long time now. Everything from prayer to personal Bible study has just been mundane, stale, and to a greater degree – repetitive.

There’s no luminesce or excitement which is always part of my worship. It has just been a prosaic kind of spiritual walk.

And I write about this – vulnerably and honestly – because it is an issue I have already presented to God in prayer. And He, being gracious, has pointed out to me what has been troubling my soul.

Truly, it has been a burdensome vexation for me foreal. Because more than any other fear, I am afraid of backsliding and falling/turning away from God. Even death has nothing on this fear.

Equivalently, I recognize too, that the term “excitement” lies in the circle of emotions; which is not at all how Christians are encouraged to walk.

The Bible tells us that we are to walk by faith and not by sight – and certainly not by emotions or any form of carnal induced experience or approach.

At this point, I must also let my reader in on something about me: I am personally unable to separate worship and sometimes even prayer with emotions. I do not know about others but for me: every ounce of my being must be present for me to present any type of acceptable worship or service to God. (I do not know whether I should use the word: intuitively here, which I will use anyway…) Thus, I intuitively judge in my own spirit whether or not my worship, prayer and even service has been received and even accepted by Him.

And before proceeding any further, I would also like to state that when I speak of emotional spiritual experience, I do not mean crying, yelling, outward exuberance, goosebumps…and the like.

I mean: passion; full body, heart, mind and soul concentration and presence, adoration, heart, spirit, desire and soulfulness.

Yet contrarily, what has been happening is, I have been in a limbo state of some sort of a barren wilderness – and it has been an exhausting, tiring, dry and arid desert. Upto this point, I have been frustrated at myself, trying to restore a certain kind of fellowship or even experience with God in my own strength; through self-manufactured religious formalities which have proven not to avail to anything, let alone much.

And I must admit: there is nothing as frustrating as trying to attain a certain glory or experience in God that once existed and no longer is, and trying to relive it constantly.

But as always (with perfect timing), the Holy Spirit reminded me of a book I read one time (which is still among my favorites to-date) by A.W. Tozer titled That Incredible Christian. In there, there is a whole chapter he writes about what I will liken somewhat to my experience where he says:

“Periods of staleness in the Christian life are not inevitable but they are common. He is a rare Christian who has not experienced times of spiritual dullness when the relish has gone out of his heart and the enjoyment of living has diminished greatly or departed altogether.

One often-unsuspected cause of staleness is fatigue. Shakespeare said something to the effect that no man could be a philosopher when he had a toothache, and while it is possible to be a weary saint, it is scarcely possible to be weary and feel saintly; and it is our want of feeling that we are considering here.”

Which also, is the folly of feelings and emotions when it comes to the Christian faith.

It is true that God has responded to my worship many times through emotions. Notwithstanding, it is scripturally established as well that emotions are not His way.

Emotions, as healthy and useful as they are, are also highly deceptive. Because when I am in low moods, I perceive that God is also low with me and doesn’t want anything to do with me at that moment. Subsequently, when I am in high and jolly moods: God and I, we good!

But God’s word tells us: He changes not, He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Therewithal, this is what the Holy Spirit spoke to me over this whole matter:

Living, or even trying to live the Christian life without God and His power and help – the Holy Spirit – is vain, deceptive to oneself and a religious show at best which is all unacceptable worship to God.

And yet, this has been my lot for a while now. The fluctuating emotions have been deceiving me; plunging me some days into faith, and other days into unbelief, which of course, has been causing me to live out my faith and even life inconsistently as a result.

Yet, the solution lay simply in abiding in Jesus for without Him I could do, and can do nothing.

Worship, prayer, performing my daily tasks, any type of service, writing, life itself…. without God’s Holy Spirit is futile and even worthless.

A.W. Tozer proceeds to say concerning other causes of dryness in spiritual things which, likewise, resonates with me and would also be helpful to somebody who desperately needs the wisdom –

“Another reason some of us become jaded is monotony. To do one thing continuously will result in boredom even if what we do is pleasant; and to think about the same things without cessation will also lead to boredom even if we are thinking about the things of the kingdom.

Von Hugel speaks of the “neural cost” of prayer and advises that we should sometimes break off thoughts of heavenly things and go for a walk or dig in the garden. We have all known the disappointment felt when returning to a passage of Scripture that had been so fresh and fragrant the day before only to find the sweetness gone out of it. It is the Spirit’s way of urging us on to new vistas.

When we feel dry it is wise either to ignore it or to tell God about it without any sense of guilt. If we are dry because of some wrong on our part the Spirit through the Word will show us the fault. In short, we can keep from going stale by getting proper rest, by practicing complete candor in prayer, by introducing variety into our lives, by heeding God’s call to move onward and by exercising quiet faith always.”

Lord, thank You for this revelation about: just abiding in You and trusting in the finality of Your love for me. I thank You too that You care so deeply about every single thing that disturbs me. I recognize as well that I cannot balance my emotions myself. I pray that You O Lord, grant me discernment and that perfect balance: to employ/abandon emotions where necessary, and to walk by faith regardless of how I feel or do not feel.

Help me Lord Jesus. And remind me every single day that Your Holy Spirit is the key to all my prayer, worship and service to You and without Him, it is all vain and meaningless.

Amen.

♣

Okay… Let’s just be honest, whenever most people hear anything about religion, their first reaction and instinct is probably to cringe or brush off the whole matter entirely.

Why? Most likely because it is a subject that is associated with extreme cases of fanaticism, it brings about a lot of conflicts and controversies, and even offends easily.

Religion is famously known for: manipulation, stagnation, repression, ignorance, bigotry and is too often a threat to liberty. And rightly so. I do agree. With that said, I recommend you to read two of my posts as well as encourage you to do a personal, extensive, and honest research on your own regarding this matter. Why?

As intellectuals (critical thinkers), I believe we owe it to ourselves to interrogate, examine, and ask hard questions regarding matters touching on faith rather than choosing to ignore them or even worse— follow blind faith. Click here for the first post.

Who speaks the truth with regards to a genuine, sincere and true relationship with God? Is it Buddha? Muhammad? Jesus? Zoroaster? Confucius? Joseph Smith? Guru Nanak? Krishna? Among others? Find out on this second post:

My heart overflows with a goodly matter; I speak the things which I have made touching the king: My tongue is the pen of a ready writer. Psalms 45:1

Thank you for reading this blog. Feel free to share it with others whenever and wherever.🙂

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