Where do I begin? A gift that God deposited in me as far back as when I was five. I remember owning a secret coded journal I wrote on and not allowing my cousins to read. It had this disclaimer reading private!! You know, for those who have watched Harriet the spy and relate.
Yap! That was me alright.
Growing up, I enjoyed writing letters to my friends and family but life taught me nobody really paid attention to my words and so I abandoned writing entirely.
I was later given a journal by my mum when I was 20 and I remember scribbling some things which I have until now. At some point, I started writing letters to God and if I am honest, I have no idea why. I never had a relationship with Him, my prayer life was active only during a crisis, I was okay being in sin because I had convinced myself—“nobody ever died from sin, I mean people seem okay.” But for some reason, I still wrote letters to God. There was seed deep down that was looking for light and water to germinate but I was constantly stepping on it.
These letters confirm to me that my heart has never belonged to me right from the beginning, it has always belonged to Jesus. That is why He chased down my heart so fiercely and graciously at every wrong turn I took and in every step of my life, and when I got deeper into the darkness, He pulled me out and as I wrote—shocked me back to life.
I wrote words with no idea what exactly I was speaking of and if the person I wrote to actually existed. I don’t know what you would call that— but that for me is spiritual manifestation in its extraordinary form. For many it would seem as though my spiritual journey began when I started actively blogging, but in hindsight this journey began from my mother’s womb. God called me from her womb and chose me for a purpose so big that even in a lifestyle of strife, pride and arrogance I was still drawn to Jesus; and through this whole process, I now connect so many occurrences that have come to pass up until now.
The reason why I share this is because there is not a day I do not look at my words and feel awed and humbled.
My own words healed me, this to me is immense. Reading these letters makes me realize that at times we wait to be healed by God or by other people but we do not realize that God himself has deposited in us all the power of healing. The ability to use our minds and thoughts to regenerate healthy cells, to speak healing words to the mind, body, spirit and believe these words to be commands.
The only reason why we do not know or understand this profound mystery is because we do not know how to tune these abilities; sort of like our bodies require a balanced diet and exercise to keep flowing. Our spirit, our minds, our souls also need to be nourished in faith, purpose, love, giving, truth and mostly the word of God and the Holy Spirit.
At times we call upon God and when we do not get the response we wanted, we conclude He did not hear us. God hears all our prayers, our needs, our cries. He does. These letters are proof that even when I wrote them without expectation, He honored them. (PS my grammar could be wanting but who cares, lol, God did not🙂
I ended up writing for Him! Can you believe it? It is amazing, believe it when they say, be careful what you pray for, God is listening. I believe however, He answers our prayers according to His will for us. That is why even if nobody ever read my work, I would still write for Him. I would write thousands of letters to Him and for Him. My heart compels me to sing, praise and write for Him.
Thank you for honoring my letters. Let us do this! Raise a nation of believers! Use me Lord. 🙂