On the 9th Monday December 2019, I woke up no longer feeling blessed but knowing that I am blessed. Understanding day by day that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. Rom 8:28
I am actually asking myself, “am I courageous enough to write this post?” I don’t know, but nonetheless I will keep going till words find me and I, them. I have shy’d away from writing deep from my heart for the past one month or so because I never want to be a fraud in words as it is the one place that gives me healing.
Yesterday morning, I woke up and I had this verse ringing in my head for the better part of the day; though I could not remember exactly where to find it, I googled some of the words and I found the verse.
I remember the first time I decided to write, I honestly never thought that I would be able to manage writing almost weekly and be constant with it. I also never thought I would be deeply healed by my own words. I don’t know if you remember this post, https://soulofagypsywoman.com/gods-timing/
This was the first time God confirmed to me that He wanted to use my words to heal the world. I remember feeling as though I would combust with joy, knowing that His presence was with me and that He had a purpose for my life.
Over my spiritual journey, I have made so many mistakes trying to figure out how He intends to use me for His plan; but I thank God for all of them because He has manifested Himself in each and every one of my mistakes and covered me with His grace and embrace. He has taught me so many things and even now He keeps teaching, moulding and directing me.
One of the things that I have battled with is claiming Jesus before men and not feeling as though I should feel ashamed. If I am honest, deep down, a tinge of awkwardness sprouts and makes me retreat from talking about the love of Jesus in just any normal conversation.
But how can something so wonderful, so filling, so precious, so life giving be so far away from men’s hearts? It is too insurmountable for me to fail to share it with the world. I cannot keep it inside of me because it is no longer about me anymore. This is about billions of people who are suffering in the world and have lost hope, people who need to hear there is a God who restores health without medicine, raises the dead, calms the storms, sends legions of angels to guard and protect them, gives rest to those who are weary and has a purpose for everyone and everything.
This is about people who have stayed many years under religion, not having experienced the presence of God or having no passion towards living a purposeful life. This is about people who have been hurt by life, by parents, by children, by sickness and death, by friends and also those who are carrying offenses against God.
It is inconceivable to know what I know and keep it to myself. Therefore, this brings me to the point of being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus.
Paul legit is my hero. He made me understand that it was possible to be ashamed of the gospel of Jesus, but then again it was necessary that we remember that because of this gospel lives are saved and destinies are changed.
Romans 1:16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.
This journey has taught me obedience, one great lesson that has taken me a long time to understand and also live under its different seasons; especially when it hurts to obey.
This journey has taught me that not dealing with strife sprouts roots of bitterness which is one of the vices than hinder us from hearing from God.
This journey has taught me about letting go. Letting go of pain, hurt, resentment, anger, expectations and also letting go of people I love as well. It has taught me that trusting God is not a one day affair but a daily commitment, to wake up and put on His word even when it doesn’t make sense to the world.
This journey has birthed a woman who never knew what she was capable of achieving until she started foolishly believing in His word, even when it didn’t make sense (I always call it Noah’s ark kind of bold faith—foolish, childish faith)
This journey has healed and restored my health. A girl who suffered under the oppression of gastritis, and ulcerative colitis for six years.
This journey has taught me that God’s love and His nature is extremely profound, so overwhelming, so loving, I cry whenever I start talking about what it has done for my life.
But it has not come to me like magic. I had to get to such a low point in my life, that I turned to buddhism to see if I could find peace and ease the hurt and pain but in my practice I found Jesus.
This journey, is not the end, it is just the beginning. A post to rest under a palm tree to reflect on how far I have come and how faithful the one who has carried me has been. I always say, He left the 99 to find me, so I boast because He found me worthy enough; to leave a multitude of his discipleship just to come pick me, place me on his shoulders and carry me home.
This journey is endurance and willingness to let God see me as I am and not as I think He would prefer me to be. To bring all the broken pieces with my whole heart because I have learnt that He cannot heal what I keep thinking I can fix on my own.
This journey, just found new wings to fly; to claim who God has said I am and my purpose in this life. It is a path of falling and getting up because even Jesus never stayed down when they beat Him. He fell severally but still got up and finished His race, a race that permits and empowers me to be here writing this.
This journey is about learning, making mistakes and having the Holy Spirit right here leading me and reminding me that I do not need to be perfect; I just need a will and a desire to follow the path He has set before me.
We all have battles we are facing in life, I believe that every single person on earth has faced a challenge or a difficulty in one point of their lifetime. The only difference is how each person deals and learns to overcome and let go of the burden that weighs us down. We must not allow our minds to condmem us into believing the lies of the world.
We were born to thrive, I love Revelation 5:10 it says, to reign as kings and priests on earth. Can you imagine, living your life with a defeated mindset all the while, somebody has already bought you a whole kingdom; only you have no awareness of where it is, how you can find it and how you can open the doors?
This journey is to tell me as God told me this week, you’ve come this far why stop now? Keep going. (inserts NCBA billboard)
Remembering that healing is not a one day thing, it is a daily dose therapy and it always starts with the mind.