Have you ever felt confused about some things?
Wait many things? Yes? No?
So we decided that this space will be a space of honesty and vulnerability.
I have been standing firm against the spirit of confusion in my life and making efforts to make firm choices even if the choices I make, make me uncomfortable. I am calling it the “being in my choices” Why? Because even if I do not make the right choice guess what?
“All things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.“
I am not quoting this verse to justify my wrong choices, I am actually doing it to illuminate how God works through our wrong choices.
I haven’t listened to a lot of secular music or watched secular programs for a long while now, I listen occasionally but not as much as I did before.
So I like this song by the late Whitney Houston and Kygo called Higher Love. I am jamming it… I love the lyrics.
Especially this part of the lyrics..
Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is wasted time
Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine
So yesterday while jamming the song in its high and merry beats. I was so overcome with the mood. I decided to share the screen shot on my whatsapp.
Now, afterward is when I realized, wait…. Something doesn’t feel right. I don’t like that I have shared that.
Ask me why?
My spirit was not settled and peaceful. If you can remember a post I wrote a long time back early this year, I said the Holy Spirit is my best friend and whenever something is off or feels off, He will show me.
I know maybe some of you are like, really?
Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme?
But seriously yes.
The song is great, but my spirit was totally disagreeing with the video and some parts of the lyrics.
I decided well, I should delete it—Then I remembered we are doing this thing with the Holy Spirit where we are staying with our choices, we are not running away from the discomfort. We are facing the consequences.
So this is what I mean by the Spirit of confusion.
If you can remember my previous post, I wrote that God allows us to go through some things not because He enjoys to see us suffer, but because He wants us to learn from our situations and circumstances and the amazing thing is, you gain wisdom when you fail, not when you are trying to be perfect or keep a façade.
I decided I will let my whatsapp status be, because I made that choice and in as much as I was burning to delete the it; God used that situation to make me reflect and I started to write this post.
Now, I’m not saying that God is a God of confusion…No!! He is not. He is an orderly God. However, it’s paramount we stay with our choices whether we feel pleasant about them or not. We need to learn to sit with the discomfort because truly that’s how we grow from them and learn not to make the same mistakes again. We should not try to hide things under the rug or pretend that they did not happen. That is not how we get healing. Healing is crazy funny! You get healing when you illuminate, accept and resolve to address the hurt or the wrong, by receiving it, embracing, it and transforming it.
I have transformed mine into a whole piece and I am feeling peaceful while writing this.
Another lesson too is, I am preaching and teaching what God places in my heart whenever I write on this platform or speak to people in general. I need to recognize that in as much as I enjoy some of my music, foods and leisures. There are people who are learning about God and they are, as it may be, too young in the faith and journey of seeking God. Therefore, it is okay to enjoy my stuff in my own space and enjoy life while keeping a watchful eye on compromising my faith and without making other people question or make conclusions like—”Oooh if she can watch or say that and she’s a Christian, I guess that’s okay”
This verse really helps me out with this point.
I can tell you for a fact, God has been very disciplined and unrelenting with me in terms of what I allow in my spirit. Things that I used to enjoy watching are no longer of much interest; some of my die hard, crazy–mad series like supernatural.
To be honest I do have nostalgic moments about the old me at times, but whenever I feel and re–encounter the peace, love, grace and the embrace of Jesus, I can’t imagine trading that knowledge and experience for anything.